“Naughty 19 and Nearing Our Angel” by Bradford Riley

~ Hecateus

(c. 550 BC – c. 476 BC)

“In this island, there is a magnificent grove of Apollo, and a remarkable temple, of a round form, adorned with many consecrated gifts. There is also a city, sacred to the same God, most of the inhabitants of which are harpers, who continually play upon their harps in the temple, and sing hymns to the God, extoling his actions. The Hyperboreans use a peculiar dialect, and have a remarkable attachment to the Greeks, especially to the Athenians…  It is also said that in this island the moon appears very near to the earth, that certain eminences of a terrestrial form are plainly seen in it, that Apollo visits the island once in a course of nineteen years, in which period the stars complete their revolutions, and that for this reason the Greeks distinguish the cycle of nineteen years by the name of “the great year”. During the season of his appearance the God plays upon the harp and dances every night, from the vernal equinox until the rising of the Pleiades, pleased with his own successes.”

The Book of Revelation and the Work of the Priest. Lecture 1 of 18.
Rudolf Steiner, Dornach, September 5, 1924:

“The moment when the gods entered into the Mysteries—this was something people were able to observe through the ancient astrology which enabled them to understand it in the right way. At the end of each year, or at the end of a moon cycle of 18 years, or at the end of other periods, there were always holy times that signified the non-conformity, the borderline, between human intelligence and divine intelligence, holy times when the priests in the Mysteries were able to recognize that the gods could find their way to them and that human beings could find their way to the gods.”

Our Angel and the Nineteen year phenomena

What we are required to know “…the importance of the lunar node return at the age of 18.6 years, she did point to the adolescent passage as a time of standing at the threshold of the spiritual world in an entirely new way. At this threshold the adolescent is capable of experiencing will-permeated thoughts. It is a time of receiving in the night, during sleep, glimpses of one’s pre-earthly resolves and all the karma related to it. In the day the adolescent seeks for a way to make those pre-earthly resolves a reality. What we have unfolding at this period in life are the powers of memory upon which the “I” streams into earthly existence. If this is stunted or blocked from occurring, then the “I” cannot fully penetrate the soul or the body. The thought forms of materialism have the stunting and blocking effect upon the incarnating soul and “I”. Knowing this, we as anthroposophic psychotherapists, must infuse into our work the need to re-educate our adolescents and adults to overcome the fear of death and soul extinction by reinforcing faith in the spiritual reality of our being.”

Angelic Biographical Science

When we awaken our deeper interests in this 18 1/2 to 19 year rhythm pattern that unfolds in every human biography we encounter the deepest most sublime mystery of the science of human biography ever achieved.  The most, bar none, astonishing conscious use of the magnificent model of human biography is in this equation.  11.5 + 18.5 = 30.  What is so astonishing about this equation? We have actually and specifically in the destiny of Christ Jesus, a person, a Being of the greatest interest to us, and it matters not if you feel inclined to Christianity or not. That does not matter because we are dealing with the math of every human biography. It doesn’t matter at all what you may think of Christianity or even if there is such a thing, what matters is the fact that every human biography has certain precise numerical laws in it. This study brings the objective laws of  18.5 into the comprehension of the Angelic Science of biography.

Here is what we absolutely know about the events in the biography of the individuality of Christ Jesus. Firstly the startling fact, undisputed but hidden by grandmas version of Christianity, is the fact that there were two Jesus children. One highly advanced and one much more challenged but with a kindness unmatched in the history of humanity (CLICK LINK FOR INTENSE STUDY). Let’s stick to the basics for our understanding the math. Here is what conscious Angelic Science of biography means, in every human destiny. Two children grow up to the age of twelve together, are cousins. At twelve,  the highly advanced one withers and dies voluntarily. Now 11.5 years is the culmination of how long it takes Jupiter to orbit once around the Sun. So we can say 12 years carries the full signature of the Jupiter we see in the heavens. But those twelve years are all about how we go from 1st grade to 12th grade, it is, and there is no argument we can make, it is one complete, vast Jupiter educational foundational orbit.

One child dies and the bright one, the highly advanced one, as they are fully related, takes his graduate degree at 12 or 11.5 years and lifts his entire kernel, his immortal I, into the other challenged child, his cousin, who is the same age. I had a cousin who was the same age as I, my cousin David. We were best friends as children and we have remained best friends through life. There is hardly two more different kids. My cousin was a Viet Vet, did three tours of duty and also suffered the extremes of a fairly rebellious childhood. I did not, like my same aged cousin whom I love dearly, go to Viet Nam, I went to the Goetheanum. My cousin and I were both bright, and we took completely different paths through the world but we had a great thing in common, we loved our Grandma.

But here comes the beauty. Yes none of us, no one has ever achieved the level of the graduation of 11.5 years of the Jupiter education that the highly advanced Jesus did. Jesus set the bar of exactly what could be achieved in 12 years on Earth. As I have indicated, and the facts are not made up, Jesus graduated Earth at 12 years of age. At 12 years of age, he brings his own life to a close. In the Bible he goes missing and no one can find him. However now we find that the Challenged Cousin of Jesus, slowly starts to become massively intelligent, suddenly. Out of the blue, from deep inside, the Challenged Jesus child becomes slowly illuminated. Yes indeed something was growing inside him and it wasn’t alien to him, at least it wasn’t an alien being, it was his very own cousin’s brilliant being, slowly integrating itself into the one Jesus that we now know through history. We forgot to mention that before the highly advanced Jesus goes missing, he sits before the elders as a 12 year old child, and teaches the elders the wisdom that they hadn’t been able to comprehend in all their long gray bearded years. And a child shall teach them.

So the highly advanced Jesus 12 year old, removes his immortal being and places it in his challenged cousin. From that point on, until 18.5 years later, the deed of the internal resurrection and incarnation into the other Jesus child, goes through it’s own magnificent 18.5 years and arrives at age 30 at the first Angelic juncture which this essay is all about. This essay tracks the entire biography of any human being, female or male, who every 19 years, through their entire lifetimes, intersects with their Angels and reviews; has a job performance review. Every 19 years we crisscross with our Angelic guides and intimately review the direction and development of each of our own soul’s and spirit’s journey. 18.5 years after the highly developed Jesus child had entered the challenged Jesus child HE, arrives at the Baptism in the Jordan and meets the Angel, the literal Folk-Angel of the Hebrew people in the person of Elijah/John the Baptist.

So this secondary incision in the biography of the most significant spirit who ever walked the Earth takes 18.5 years to grow from 12 years of age to age 30. AT 30 years of age, the full Christ I AM, the immense Cosmic I AM of humanity enters the Jesus Manhood at the Baptism and once again the highly advanced Jesus child exits, his work completed. The Christ enters this unique Jesus at 30. Christ lives for only THREE YEARS ON EARTH.  The most amazing three years in human history. The conscious science of using the reality of borrowing another 18.5 or 19 years to mature, ripen and prepare for the incarnation of the the vast Christ Being, is where we owe a debt of gratitude for the preparation and Angelic Biographical Sciences that are studied in the higher High Schools of all human Initiation Science.Naughty 19 Emil Bock 3 years of Christ on Earth

What do we know about the conscious use of rhythm in human biography? Could enormous mysteries of biography be right in front of us but we failed to comprehend them? Have all the priests and religious leaders and all our educational professors including our grandmas and grandpas and our parents failed to understand Angelic Biographical Science? Angelic Biographical Science has been out of our reach until Spiritual Science came on the scene. You now have pieces of a vast puzzle that is an absolute Science and reveals absolutely that indeed every 18.5 years, 19 years in our biographies we have a pre-scheduled meeting with our very own Angel who holds the secret book of the intimate knowledge of our human destinies. In this essay on Angelic Biographical Science I bring example after example of this 18.5 to 19 year old rhythm pattern that exists in every, every human biography.

Rudolf Steiner

“…inner transformations in human beings, to what one might call the inner, religious finding of oneself that occurs today in many cases around about the (19th) twentieth year. Around about their (19th) twentieth year many people these days experience a moment of inner conversion, a conversion that comes about entirely from within. They are taken hold of by something that is like a kind of whirling up of divinity out of their own soul.”

The time is out of joint—O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

Gangs and Rites of Passage; false gun toting, Confederate flag waving patriotism; going off to some chosen university where the petty Rites of Passage are all about getting drunk, learning about sex and cheering with a herd of lemmings who share the passion for some local football team or national football team; We made it, we managed to hide ourselves within the herd of all those surging human instincts ( LINK TO THE PROBLEM BEING DISCUSSED) ; or generally feeling that we are young and immortal with abounding energy to deplete our life forces and rebuild them, after our hangovers, with a quick nap, allows us, from around 17 to 22 to wake up every day and face the trials of life as if we had an adult heart and soul.
alone in the darkness

But the numbers in every single instance, without exception, are that by 18.6 years or 19 years, the Moon that marked a point, a unique point and position where you were born, returns once more to the exact spot from whence you entered life and took your first star fixed breath. At 19 years of age we are ready for the most intimate window of blessing in a whisper, that our Angels have waited to share with us.

But just at this point, when we are still unsure of our thinking, our understanding of ourselves as spiritual beings, confused by the ghetto, the false patriotism that is spouted by military recruiters and the lies of the church and the failed insights of priests and community and congregations alike, at this sensitive point in our biographies, we are least likely to pay heed to the faint and potent indicators that our Angels have kept sacred for just this moment in our incarnation.

We can mostly recognize that our parents education has 100% failed to even comprehend the rhythms that lie in every human biography, these so called adults who are supposed to prepare the ground for you, well they have never even bothered to concern themselves with the universal details of each human biography. For it is with everyone, without exception, females and males alike that at around about 19 the moon’s first node opens the first flickering light that illuminates the inner world of what you sought to become and what you seek to learn in this earthly incarnation.

The meeting with this inner direction that applies only to you and your biography will come back every 19 years. The nineteenth, thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years ahead will find you reviewing with your Angel the entire pattern, mistakes and choices that you made in life. It all starts,the first lap of our long journey starts at approximately 19 years of age with our (SEE THIS CLIP) attempting to create a moment in the turmoil of life that opens the eyes of our soul.

Each and every biography has the same numerical patterns and each of these patterns must unfold in each and every biography. The individual events will appear differently with each individual, but the profound lessons arrive on everyone’s doorsteps. I am focusing on only one specific event horizon, around the 19th year, because this is really the hardest and this is the one that sets us off in directions where we can lose our humanity or recover our humanity only later, or send us off on a Forest Gump/Parsifal adventure where we discover the magnificent divine wisdom of the world all by accident.

The Fool is seemingly oblivious to much of life, is often naive, invariably wide eyed and innocent at much of life’s travails, and is someone clearly in dire need of divine protection. And in this respect, the Fool receives it… on a continual basis!

“For example, if Forest Gump is our model, then the Fool is the archetype of an individual honored by several U. S. Presidents, spectacularly successful in both war and in business enterprises, recipient of the benefits of both a loving mother and true, lasting friendships, and overall someone who really does quite well for himself.

“Other representations of the Fool include: 1) Tom Sawyer or Huck Finn ambling along the Mississippi River, carrying their belongings in makeshift satchels — both out to find high adventure and learn life’s lesson first hand, 2) the prodigal son in pursuit of the phenomenon of living, 3) an innocent Parsifal seeking redemption in the Quest for the Holy Grail, while experiencing all the positives and negatives the world has to offer, and/or 4) the wandering prince and minstrel, experiencing the slings and arrows of those who don’t respect or even trust any wandering individual, prince or not. The Fool is the quality in each of us that stirs at the thought of adventure and responds eagerly even to the hint of a new challenge. The Fool wanders in where others fear to go.”

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread

Ignorant or inexperienced individuals get involved in situations that wiser persons would avoid, as in I’ve never heard this symphony and here I am conducting it: well fools rush in where angels fear to tread. It is the opening prelude to our own living gigantic biographical symphony and we are asked to conduct it without ever having grasped the rhythms and patterns in the laws of biography or the laws of music.

LIBERAL ARTS CLIP

Zibby: I sometimes feel like I’m looking down on myself. Like there’s this older, wiser me watching over this 19-year-old rough draft, who’s full of all this potential, but has to live more to catch up with that other self somehow. And, uh, I know I’ll get there. It’s just sometimes I think I want to rush the process, you know? And I don’t know, maybe, um – maybe I thought you were some sort of shortcut. Does that make any sense?

Jesse Fisher: If I wrote you, I would be like, “This is the best rough draft ever.”

We are suddenly thrust in as the conductors and it feels like everyone is watching, the curtain has gone up and here I stand naked, revealed and winging it. Starting with this delicate 18 to 21 year window of our already started lifetime, well we don’t have a clue and our parents have no clue as to what our own little Beethoven symphony will be like. It will have strong dramatic parts, elated and soaring crescendos and cadences, it will have holy uplifting phrases and thundering drums. It will be our own biographies and there is a score and a tonal model for each and every biography just as there are precise laws of music.

Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread
And so I come to you my love
My heart above my head
Fools rush in, where wise men never go
But wise men never fall in love
So how are they to know
When we met, I felt my life begin
So open up your heart and let
This fool rush in

But one of the least prepared regions of the biography appears to be where the blind parents and community and nation, throw our young people to the wolves and cannot consciously, with awareness and alertness, assist the 19 year old and the 20 year old to listen to the highest indications that our unique and sacred Angels will offer us as windows into our own potential. Potentials that we may not have guessed yet or are still waiting to hear… But the indicators are there.
watery emotional Angel

Our own Angels and our higher soul spirit Being will hover around the 19 year old and 20 year old and any of those faint glimmerings will be overwhelmed in the tangle of materialistic intentions of the the parents, the immature and deluded patriotism of relatives and friends and the empty phrases from politicians and meaningless limp mumblings from our local churches. This unsorted out mess is all that makes up the clump of uncooked chaotic cookie dough we call ourselves at 19 (Click Link for Steely Dan ‘Hey Nineteen).

Yet from this entire tangled mess of family and community relationships, we gather our little bag of experience and rush head long into the oncoming traffic. Nothing wakes us up more to our navigational potentials as our own immediate impacts with catastrophic and unyielding reality.

Pregnancy, DUI’s military discipline or our own lack of direction assail us. And, we have to listen very carefully, but we won’t, but we have to listen carefully to the clues as to our own unique and singular direction. We have to listen very carefully from 17 to 20 and watch for the beginnings of our own signs and wonders. These signs and wonders of our own will slowly become our navigational indicators through many of life’s trials.

Sometimes chance and synchronicity or coincidence will throw us a life line and at other times we deliberately have chosen the stubborn, bull headed path of learning everything the hard way. We won’t accept any faint intuitions and insights unless we are sure of the fact that we deserved, earned and won them and soon, before long we find that life is not fair and the undeserving steal and rob from the deserving. But we won’t listen to the little inner voice that speaks to us of how we screw things up all by ourselves. No, we want it the hard way, instead of the miraculous mercurial rich and personal meaning that awakens in our magical intuitions, we want the arbitrary human intellect.

Women have a better capacity for gaining and following the quick mercurial meanings and insights than most men. Women are wired to understand certain sensitive intuitions and nuances that literally blow right by men. Men need to become poets and musicians so that some kind of music can filter into the density of their hearts and weave light patterns, weave mercury’s intuitions through and through so that the tiny slumbering soul can feel intimate meanings, the way women normally can.

And in the long run we learn that our Angel’s are woven of this mercurial substance (see link) of synchronicity, music and intimate patterns of coincidence. This is how we learn the language of the stars in the working of events that happen directly to us and with us but we are too dull to receive the event and open ourselves with rich reflection of thought and communion to our emotions.

It is hard to learn the wisdom of tears and cherish the glow and warmth of laughter that is not mockery. In the long run we see rhythms and patterns weaving clearly within each human biography and they are based on real numbers and real Time points as we grow older. But it all stands before us as a confounded riddle of the Sphinx at 19.

Certainly there will be a teacher or a boss or a coach or an adult or a friend who truly can hear or is near hearing the real whispering of what the higher intentions are of why we truly sought for our life on earth. They are rare but they are there as part of our intimate guides through the chaos of this 19 to 21 year taffy pull of the soul.

If no deep impression comes to us, it means we weren’t listening or we drowned out the intimate sensitivity with mountains of superficial distractions in order not to hear and prove to ourselves that there are no intimate secrets, rather it is all just a ball of meaningless nothings. Existential nihilism in a pretty package of tattoos and flesh.

But none of our sought for answers are going to be merely handed to anyone because at 19 we have gotten used to having everything being handed to us without having to struggle down to the core of our beings to discern our own individual Moral Sovereignty. And that strange term, our Moral Sovereignty is the real life long struggle that is gonna lead us forward through the heights of success and the depths of despair. Our Moral Sovereignty gives us the right to be spiritual beings among other spiritual beings like ourselves.

Moral Sovereignty

“I had not thought about the seriousness of what I was doing when I walked into that recruitment center. Bill Clinton was in office at the time, and his belligerency had always been confined to invading only the most obscure and irrelevant countries in the world in a dilettantish (albeit deadly) fashion. It never occurred to me when I told the recruiter that I wanted to enlist that I was essentially giving my consent to go fight in a future decade-long guerrilla war in a tribal wasteland or to go fight in an urban free-for-all in the desert.

“That’s what really troubled me when I thought about how very close I had come to joining the military; the realization that I would have had to go to war whether I thought it was just or not. I would have voluntarily put myself in a position where other people – people I had never met – would have been able to tell me when and under what circumstances I would have to board a plane or a ship to go kill other people I had never met. And to top things off, those people I had never met who would have the right to tell me when to kill were politicians – the very same slippery scoundrels I had heard lying to me with a straight face my entire life. It was truly bone chilling to realize how close I came to surrendering my moral sovereignty to people I not only didn’t know, but in whom I had no trust to begin with.

“To surrender the ability to decide when and under what circumstances a man will kill other human beings is a serious matter – one that ought not to be taken lightly or entered into as though he is signing a car lease. Indeed, the decision to kill is the most serious moral decision a man can make in his life, which is precisely why he ought not to surrender the decision to anyone under any circumstances. The decision to kill ought not to be surrendered to a man’s wife, to his mother, or to his brother – and it especially ought not to be surrendered to the most mendacious creatures to walk the face of the Earth: politicians. If a man finds himself in a position where he must kill in order to protect himself or his family, he will know what decision he must make, but to kill other human beings just because a politician says so is the height of moral recklessness and irresponsibility.”

It is one thing to grasp slowly the power of Time and the unfolding of Time in ourselves and everyone else, but it is even more critical and imperative to locate the typical and powerful experiences that surround each and every soul as they encounter for the first time, in their own lives, the details and forces that swamp our emotions and rush to rob us of our Moral Sovereignty. Knowing what robs us of our Moral Sovereignty and knowing what it feels like when we have been touched by the Moral Sovereignty at the core of our I AM, at the core of our immortal soul, is learning to cherish shattering, and illuminating inner certainty. This is what our Angel and Higher Being grants us for reclaiming ourselves as Spiritual Beings on the Physical plane.

“I listened intently to the opinions of others about my life’s path when I was young. But it didn’t help me, no matter how well intentioned their advice was, because they couldn’t possibly know the true-path I was here to walk. The only place I found my path was deep in my own body-being, a library of wondrous soul-scriptures awaiting my detection and expression. It was scary to be the one who held the key, but it was also magnificently empowering. At the end of the day, only soul knows the path it is here to walk. You are the sculptor of your own reality. Don’t hand your tools to anyone else.”~Jeff Brown

We derive great pleasure from experiencing the emotional exhilaration of highs and lows on our own little emotional adolescent roller coasters. This constant dysfunctional drama appears to us to be the essence of life. The Big Bong game. Everyone who thrives on being the center of their own and others emotional drama, constantly attract more and more crisis to their being and they become addicted to needing constant depressions and elations just to feel alive and not bored, all the while dragging everyone else into their self created storm tornadoes orbit. We become self-proclaimed petty drama queens requiring constant attention to fill our emptiness.

At this point we see everyone around us who live for the gossip, the trivia, feeding like swollen vampires on the Main Stream Media circus and current trendy comic horror shows and developing cults of fan worship because they cannot find their own Moral Sovereignty and their own moral compass so they suck off pre-packaged pulp fictions.
angel contemplating U

We certainly have not been schooled in the reality of how our own Angel’s hover over this delicate period between 18 and 21 because they are on assignment to us, and work in conjunction with and for our higher beings and our star. The very Moon that we carry with us as part of our own biology and biographies, triggers the gateway open at approximately 19 years of age for an intimate meeting. Nobody ever bothered to tell you that there is such a thing as a window into the Angelic world, that opens for a brief period in this age range and opens again and again every 18.6 to 19 years through our entire life path did they?

The Moon Node is the point where the Moon intersects the path of the Sun. Every month the Moon crosses the path of the Sun once on the way up-North Node and once on the way down-South Node. It takes about 18½ years for the Moon Node to return to its birth position. Rudolf Steiner stated that the days and especially the nights around the Moon Node return are the most important ones of our life and that at this time there is a thinning of the veil between the physical and spiritual world.

At 18.6 years our lives have now truly begun and we love to play catch up with how we daringly dive into new emotional and physical challenges and how we extricate or blame everyone else and circumstances when we can’t extricate ourselves from events and are forced to face jail time or having killed someone in a highway accident or got someone pregnant or ended up in a strange country with our limbs blown off, all may or may not happen, but our own uncharted emotional centers have certainly steered us into this. Because we had never heard, never even comprehended such a Freedom nor a complicated concept such as our individual Moral Sovereignty. We could never have guessed that Moral Sovereignty is the central core to the ongoing riddle of Freedom and our Angels.

At the core of the soul is a still eye in the storm that can hear and can listen and can comprehend when suddenly there is some sense of great compassion that seems to well up from nowhere, when suddenly we hear some depth and wisdom in our midst though everyone mocks it. We seem like utter fools if we attempt to follow the path of sincerity against the callousness of the petty cliques of our precarious popularity. Do we know what a true friend really is?

Our normal reaction to any stumbling attempts at truth or depth would be self mockery and envelop ourselves and others in the dumb dull dead zone where everything is mere trivia and tweets and truth is not allowed in to spoil the party. We are in the habit of dealing out sarcasm because it is beyond rare to have anyone insist or see in such delicate ideal moments, a whispered hint from our own Angels who have carried us through countless incarnations through our progress on earth.

Such whispered deep regions of the soul are tender and uncomfortable but we seek them in our most intimate and tender moments in our lovers eyes. Yet it is all around us, from children to the aged, these tender waves of endearments. They float everywhere in around and through us, but we can’t recognize them because they aren’t always tagged and redirected to our own petty selfish gratifications.

Human love and grace burble up and gurgle out everywhere like leaks in a sponge when you press the water out. We just fail to admire it and live for it and cherish it when we see it. Our Angels have such inexhaustible nurturing forces all around them and they stream it towards us at all times.

What it really means, this culmination up to our 19th year and every 19 years on into the future, our thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years reveals something you were never ever taught to recognize or gain any firm educational insight from. The sad educational reality is that none of those around you ever bothered to search deep enough or grasp human life with the depth of truth and sincerity required for glimpses into how our human biography has clear foundational and literal starry patterns woven into it.

BIOGRAPHICAL EXAMPLES

Rudolf Steiner

When Steiner was 18, his father was transferred once again, this time to Inzersdorf. His new location had the advantage of being close to Vienna, and it was decided that Steiner would study at the Technical School there. Although he had leanings toward literature and philosophy, he chose instead to work towards becoming a science teacher. One day on the train to Vienna, he met a man who would have a profound influence on his life. Felix Koguzki was a herb-gatherer who travelled to Vienna regularly to sell his wares. It’s not known how they fell into conversation, but the teenage Steiner soon discovered that this simple, uneducated man had strange experiences like his own, and a deep, personal knowledge of the other worlds. He was the first person with whom he could speak about his spiritual visions, and their talks boosted Steiner’s confidence; more than likely, they also convinced him that he wasn’t crazy. Around the same time, Steiner had an encounter with another individual whose name, unfortunately, has not come down to us. Steiner refers to him only as the ‘Master’.”

“Perhaps I may be permitted to speak from personal experience in this field, for these things have personal associations. Since my nineteenth year I have been continually occupied with the study of Goethe but I have never been tempted to write a factual history of his life or even portray him in the academic sense, for the simple reason that from the very first I felt that what mattered most was that Goethe was still a living force. The physical man Goethe who was born in 1749 and died in 1832, is not important; what is important is that after his death his spirit is still alive amongst us today, not only in the Goethe literature (which is not particularly enlightened), but in the very air we breathe.”

Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze gives a very stark example for us to remember his destiny by because from The nineteenth, to the thirty-eighth, and finally to his tragic death at fifty-seven years Patrick Swayze hit every mark the moon and our Angel has to offer. At 19 Patrick met the woman he would love for his entire life, until his death, all through the Hollywood romps and mayhem, Lisa Niemi. (Click and See Tribute LinkAt 19 that unique person from which mighty love stories are crafted came into Swayze’s life.

In 1990 the eternal love story, the film, “Ghost” is released and Patrick made the film in his thirty-eighth year. This is the middle of his destiny. Patrick is given three Angelic windows. At the middle window of his incarnation, he makes the potently directed higher spiritual message film, “Ghost”. This mid-point opens vast opportunities and also reveals the amazing biographical forces that cut short his life at fifty-seven years of age.

At each point Patrick met with potent forces of love in the depths of the world. At 19 the love of his life; At 38 a powerful Angelic tale, about the higher love that exists in TIME; At 57 he closes the brilliant illumination he shed that allowed him to reveal some of the secrets people refuse to even contemplate, but our Angels certainly contemplate. That is that there is a Life after death and that human beings are immortal, eternal beings who participate in vast complex layers of reality along with our Angels. Our Angels live in the direct biographical score and symphony of our destinies. They are the ones that allow the invisible to surface up from the depths of our being. This is not taught in school (Click Interview with Barbara Walters). These things are not prepared or outlined for our immature comprehension, so we stumble blindly into destiny events that with any amount of understood preparation or illumination, may have given us clearer choices.

Carl Jung

Carl Jung went through a region of his psyche that normal people and education are terrified to admit exists. All that Jung experienced privately he hid in a book called his Red Book (SEE LINK). Jung entered this dark forest at his second Moon node, at 38 years old. “…in 1913, Jung, who was then 38, got lost in the soup of his own psyche. He was haunted by troubling visions and heard inner voices. Grappling with the horror of some of what he saw, he worried in moments that he was, in his own words, “menaced by a psychosis” or “doing a schizophrenia.” Finally this hidden RED BOOK of Carl Jung’s is about to be published. Where we can see clearly that below the surface of psychology there is a vast spiritual part of our nature which is never addressed. Carl Jung was called into this region by his own higher nature. If he was to stand before humanity and pursue the depth of spiritual experiences, his Angel let him have a few to see how he felt about it. The infamous RED BOOK of Jung’s reveals vast unexplored areas of the human psyche.

Gerard Wagner

Gerard Wagner Anthroposophical Painting School at 19 hears of Rudolf Steiner

Having painted at the Royal Academy of Art in London,
Gerard Wagner, in 1926 at 20 years of age, made his way
to Dornach for a conference. There he met his destiny
and chose to stay. He had realised that a new impulse was needed for painting child of destiny physical etheric astral I am manas budhi atma by wagnerand so, for two years, did not paint.
In 1928, he began working with Henni Geck. When
he reflected on the Nine Nature Sketches by Rudolf Steiner,
he asked, “How does the colour come to these forms?
He then spent the rest of his life immersed in this question.

Texas A&M Freshman Quarterback Johnny Manziel Wins Heisman

“When Manziel was named the winner of the 78th Heisman Trophy, making him the first freshman to do so, his mouth was agape, his eyes bugged in shock. The grin returned when he picked up the trophy and kissed the top of it.”

In Johnny Manziel, in his 19th year, at the moment when the Angel of every human being celebrates the arrival  of our 19th year on Earth, Johnny’s Angel torched like a mighty Promethean spark.At 19 years of age Johnny Manziel 1

Every Angel makes many attempts, numerous attempts to rouse and awaken us. We generally remain unconscious of these attempts made by our Angels. However the powerful and bright Etheric Light that overshadowed, or illuminated Johnny Manziel from within, lit up, for a bright season, everyone’s inward spiritual eyes.

In this moment, when a human being is NINETEEN and suddenly in the spotlight of the world, just when the gateway to the Angelic World is most brilliant, Johnny Manziel burst forth, and all his etheric forces were vividly illuminated.

Every NINETEEN YEARS all our stars line up in such a way that not only do our own Angelic Beings that guide and nurture each of us, become most intimate for us, but at that precise moment Johnny Manziel entered his 19th year.

In 2012, the stars, Manziel’s etheric body, the national spotlight and millions of eyewitnesses observed, or could have observed and in some cases did observe, Chiron, the Centaur and mentor of heroes shining with brilliant etheric illumination through Johnny Football. (CLICK LINK study in Texas A&M and Johnny Manziel) The Angel Being that helped build the Etheric body of Johnny Manziel, rayed forth with such dexterity, agility and lightness of foot, that the whole western world was amazed at what we saw.

Angelic revelations, synchronization of magnificent human and spiritual events will not be repeated in exactly the same way again. Heraclitus said: “You cannot step into the same river twice, for fresh waters are ever flowing in upon you.”

It was 2012 and the Angel of Johnny Manziel flared out, if Angels could shout, we certainly all heard the powerful, reverberating shout of a magnificent 19 year old.Yes, the bright and youthful forces of our Angels will continue to illuminate and shine for most souls during their 19th year and for each and everyone of us, through our thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth year, every 19 years through our entire earthly biographies.

Frederick S. Oliver

Oliver was born in Washington D.C. in 1866 and came to Yreka, California, with his parents when he was two years old. Yreka is just north of Mount Shasta, a huge dormant volcanic peak in Northern California.

Oliver started to write this book at the age of 18. 6 years, in 1883-4, while surveying the boundaries of his family’s mining claim. He found himself writing uncontrollably in his notebook.

He ran home in terror, where he sat down and let his hand write. These automatic writing spells continued for several years; he would write a few pages at a time. He completed writing this book in 1886, (writing feverishly from 19 to 20) and died at the age of 33 in 1899.

The book deals with deep esoteric subjects including karma and reembodiment and describes Phylos’ final incarnation in 19th century America where his Atlantean karma played itself out. In that incarnation (as Walter Pierson, gold miner and student of Adepts) he travelled to Venus (Hesperus) in a subtle body while his physical form remained at a temple inside Mt Shasta. Describing his experience with the Hesperian Adepts, Phylos relates many wonders including artworks depicting three dimensional hologram scenes that appeared alive.

In a detailed personal history of Atlantis and 19th century North America, Phylos draws the threads of both lifetimes together in familiar and initiatic terms revealing equally their triumphs and failures and exposing the cause and effects of karma from one lifetime to another. His life story is written in personal testimony of the law: “whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap” and as a warning to this technological age to not repeat the mistakes of the past which lead to the cataclysmic destruction of Atlantis (“Poseid, queen of the waves”).

Lory Smits The First Eurythmist

Lory Smits father dies when she is 17. A destiny incision cuts deeply into any child, teenager or adult when someone near to us crosses the Threshold of Death. A year later, when Lory is 18.6 years old  and heading into her 19th year Rudolf Steiner placed the young forces of Eurythmy into her hands. Lory Smits was the first Eurythmist at 19 years of age.

“It was an interesting destiny that led a young German girl of eighteen to become the pioneer eurythmist instead of a somewhat older Russian painter who was, without realizing it at the time, given the opportunity. For many years Rudolf Steiner had carried within him the impulse for creating eurythmy, but the need for it had not yet become so apparent as it was later. So when Margarita Woloschin, after hearing a lecture on the Gospel of St. John, was asked by Steiner if she could dance the Prologue to the Gospel, she replied that ”one can dance anything that one feels.”

“Lory’s parents had been theosophists for many years, and Steiner used to visit them when he went to Düsseldorf. Then the father suddenly died in November 1911, whereupon Steiner sent his widow a telegram of condolence. Having an unbounded faith in him she paid a visit to him in Berlin to consult him about the future of her eldest daughter Lory, who would have to support herself soon because the death of her father had left the family in straitened circumstances. When he asked Frau Smits what her daughter was planning to do she told him that Lory was interested in either gymnastics or dancing, whereupon Steiner replied that he could teach her ”something of the kind,” but based on ”theosophical foundations,” as Lory was to tell the story in later years. Frau Smits then asked him a question regarding the possibility of making rhythmic movements which would have the effect of strengthening the etheric forces. Thus encouraged, Steiner without more ado gave Frau Smits the first exercise for Lory, but neither she nor her mother had at the time any idea where this would lead. In this case, therefore, it was not the asking of a crucial question that led to a new initiative in Anthroposophy so much as a clear opportunity that presented itself just at the right moment.

“During the course of 1912 Lory made very great progress in the numerous preliminary exercises that Steiner gave her at the beginning of the year, and it was clear to him that she was indeed specially gifted for the task he had in mind for her. Often she did everything correctly from instinct, but it was also necessary to teach her to do all the movements consciously so that she could later teach others. All this instruction Steiner had to give to her at odd moments when he was in Düsseldorf or wherever Lory and her mother were available to work with him, but the need for eurythmy became specially visible in August 1912 when the third Mystery Drama, The Guardian of the Threshold was to be presented in Munich. In this drama Luciferic and Ahrimanic spirits appear on the stage. Rudolf Steiner had to tell the performers how to make movements in keeping with the character of these beings, but this was not at all the same thing as being able to show in eurythmy the forms that belonged to their speech.

“It was therefore almost at once after the August performance of The Guardian of the Threshold that Rudolf Steiner gave Lory the first indications for the vowels, and followed this up by asking her and her mother to go to Basel, where he was soon to lecture on the Gospel of St. Mark. There, in September, 1912, in a small suburban room with too much furniture, eurythmy was at last brought fully to birth.”

Emanuel Swedenborg

Emanuel Swedenborg 1688 to 1772 was a brilliant scientist until his 57th year. “His studies of man in works on the animal kingdom, the human brain, and psychology were published before 1747, when he resigned his post and gave himself to the contemplation of spiritual matters, especially to the work of making clear to mankind the true inner doctrines of the divine Word as he claimed that they were revealed to him by direct insight into the spiritual world after “heaven was opened” to him in 1745. Visions and communication with spirits and angels…” Here Swedenborg leaps into a totally different world of insight after having made a brilliant and solid reputation for himself in the non-mystical sciences. Swedenborg had all his windows thrown open at the time of his 57th year. The latent forces of his inner biography burst forth and turned this sober and down to earth thinker and practical scientist into a human being who talked directly to the Angels in the planetary spheres.

The riddle of Swedenborg is a peculiar and incredible knot of Karma and destiny which Swedenborg carried with him. For those of us who are esoteric students, we have been introduced clearly to the revelation that after John the Baptist was beheaded, he became the hovering and inspiring group soul of the Disciples. In St. Ignacio de Loyola an immense riddle of karma and destiny, slams into Swedenborg. St. Ignacio de Loyola hovered over the Jesuits in the same way John the Baptist hovered over the Disciples. Swedenborg had no idea that the forces he had acquired in his incarnation as St. Ignacio de Loyola, would give him such a heightened power of perception and then in his 57th year, blast the doors of his perception open. However the flaws in his higher vision can only be found, richly elaborated, in this reference. “Swedenborg’s Power of Vision”, by Rudolf Steiner, Dornach, 12 September 1915 [From anthroposophic News Sheet, 7th year, No. 14, 2 April, 1939]. If you are clever you can follow up on that indication.

Patient “RN” phantom limb syndrome 18.6 years

Her name doesn’t matter. In their science paper describing her case, her doctors call her “RN” to protect her privacy. It’s her hand that has them thinking. Its truncated shape is often associated with thalidomide, a drug used during pregnancies in the 1950s and 1960s; RN, now in her late 50s, may have been a thalidomide baby. Born unlucky, she got unluckier. When she was 18, she had a car accident so severe that it was necessary to amputate, and ever since she has had a stump where her right hand used to be.

This particular biographical example brings up a subject that has to do with THE ETHERIC BODY, the vital formative shape body that sustains our physical body. The issue here is partly the karmic event of a severe traffic accident at 18.6 years. But the real shattering discovery is something only Spiritual Science can help us with. Patient “RN” becomes an example of  Phantom Limb Syndrome (see link).

We find that young people blasted in Wars or having met some severe trauma with a loss of limbs who found themselves with an enormous plate of questions of Why, What, How?  We can examine something of the karmic event that shadowed patient “RN”. The enormous secret that she was chosen to reveal has to do with the deepest secrets of our human Etheric body. Medical Science thinks our brains produce this kindled feeling of Phantom Limbs. That is not quite true. It is that each of us have an Etheric Body that is our so called lymphatic system, which sustains our actual human physical form.

It becomes enormously important therefore, in the destiny of patient “RN” that the secrets of the Etheric Body and the magnificent etheric healings described in the Bible actually impact the dumbfounded world of materialistic medical science. It is a shattering experience and documented for us to see. To Study the Etheric Body with some intensity and the events of how Christ performed certain miracles dealing with the Etheric Body, you may (CLICK THIS LINK). In one example cited in this Etheric Body study we find that Christ performed a miracle on a human being who was 38 years of age.  The sign or miracle was given in the healing of the man 38 years in his infirmity, at the pool at Bethesda.

At 18/19 years of age, nobody expects any of us to understand the riddles that impact us with such force.  This study has to do with the science of human biography. However the riddles behind human biography reveal a great deal more. So in this case we have a very karmically unfortunate human being, patient “RN” who finds herself facing even a more difficult riddle. Now these riddles are all intertwined within our individual human biographies. However, our human biographies have mathematical rhythms that go down to the deepest mysteries of our incarnations.

The Foundations of Bethesda and the 38 year Rhythm in Biography

Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland

(John 5:1-17)

The Gospel of John described a miracle in which Jesus healed a man who had been crippled for 38 years. As explained in John 5:1-4, Jesus met the man, after traveling to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals, at the pool of Bethesda, a place that people went to in the hopes of being healed of their ailments.

As explained in the Gospel of John:

One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

The day on which this took place was a Sabbath, and so the Jewish leaders said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath; the law forbids you to carry your mat.”

But he replied, “The man who made me well said to me, ‘Pick up your mat and walk.’ “

So they asked him, “Who is this fellow who told you to pick it up and walk?”

The man who was healed had no idea who it was, for Jesus had slipped away into the crowd that was there.

Later Jesus found him at the temple and said to him, “See, you are well again. Stop sinning or something worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jewish leaders that it was Jesus who had made him well.

So, because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jewish leaders began to persecute him. In his defense Jesus said to them, “My Father is always at his work to this very day, and I too am working.”

Sergeant Joseph Hickman two biographical moments 19 and 38

The Secret of Torture at Guantanamo and patterns in Angelic rhythms

“Army Staff Sergeant Joseph Hickman and men under his supervision have disclosed evidence in interviews with Harper’s Magazine that strongly suggests that the three prisoners who died on June 9 had been transported to another location prior to their deaths. The guards’ accounts also reveal the existence of a previously unreported black site at Guantánamo where the deaths, or at least the events that led directly to the deaths, most likely occurred.

Secrets of Men and Angels

“One of the new guards who arrived that March was Joe Hickman, then a sergeant. Hickman grew up in Baltimore and joined the Marines in 1983, at the age of nineteen. When I interviewed him in January at his home in Wisconsin, he told me he had been inspired to enlist by Ronald Reagan, “the greatest president we’ve ever had.” He worked in a military intelligence unit and was eventually tapped for Reagan’s Presidential Guard detail, an assignment reserved for model soldiers. When his four years were up, Hickman returned home, where he worked a series of security jobs—prison transport, executive protection, and eventually private investigations. After September 11 he decided to re-enlist, at thirty-seven, this time in the Army National Guard.”

Film Study of Biographical Karma at 19 year Moon Node

` Wasabi ‘ , a film directed by Gerard Krawczyk and more importantly written by Luc Besson ( ` The Professional ‘ , ` The Fifth Element ‘ ‘ANGEL -A’) deals directly with this 19 year old moment where sudden karmic shocks collide. This NINETEEN year old moment is the plot of the entire film, (CLICK HERE).  In my own biography at 19 I wrote an off-off B’way play called “The Fifth” it premiered and was reviewed in 1970. It was all about the FIVE ELEMENTS which later Luc Besson brought forth his film titled, “THE FIFTH ELEMENT”.  You can examine some of the reviews and historical moments of my own plays (HERE).

I found Luc Besson much later in my own biography and since then I have gained some respect for the themes he has chosen.  “Angel-A” “Wasabi” and “The Fifth Element” are themes which we have both shared a similar interest in. “Wasabi” is a fast paced witty look into the meeting of two karmic forces that are covered in the age ranges that we are studying in this essay. In particular how the 19 year old rhythm impacts us at 19 and how we learn to resolve a karmic shock at different points in our biographies.

Exceptions to the Rule

Joan of Arc

Joan of Arc was 19 years old when she was burned at the stake. ” at her execution in Rouen, France she was 19. Her life dates were 1412-1431.”  Grasping something clearly in biography is understanding exactly when Joan of Arc was absorbed into the arms of her Angelic companions at the age of 19. In Joan of Arc’s case, we can clearly examine that Joan of Arc experienced the mighty forces of her spiritual mission with France, as a preliminary reality in the womb of her mother where Joan experienced the Holy Nights, just before she was born on Jan 6, Epiphany.

This is the exception to the rule, please don’t try this at home kids, it still meant that the Angelic world, which we encounter in slow biographical rhythms, was in Joan of Arc’s case brought to a 19 years on Earth conclusion in a fiery process that was laced with all of the deceptions and torments and lies that would normally have to be faced in the length of the entire biography.  Joan of Arc met all of them in one fell swoop, in a deed that served the Archangels and every future soul who would speak the French language who were yet unborn but destined to experience karma in France, all this was placed on a young girl’s shoulders by 19.  This was a unique and special circumstance brought about in cooperation between the Etheric Christ and Michael the Archangel. This is the reverse of that which is the normal pattern of biography and cannot be sought abstractly but must come about due to divine intentions placed into an individual soul.

So in order to think through the difference in a normal biography, Joan’s biography presents us with a  reversal of arriving at 19 and completing a powerful merging with one’s Angel. In an abnormal sense, Joan of Arc arrived at 19 and finished and completed her spiritual task in life. This differs from the normal biographical patterning where we start our ripening and maturing process, our individualization, at 19 and continue at intervals of  our thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years.


Joan completed and was embraced by her Angel and the Angelic world in a horrific and a mighty fire process of the Soul and Spirit.  The difference is that Joan of Arc was already destined, prepared, and  had chosen to intervene and do something that changed the entire Language and Archangel community and was spear headed by the Archangel Michael to penetrate the specific will substance of Joan of Arc.

Yet from our first baby teeth, to acquiring our own first grader teeth, to later when we gain puberty, all along the path, our biology and our intimate stars unfold our biographies until we approach our first moon node at approximately 18/19 years. We all follow the same rhythm patterns through the years and the only difference is to what depth and what self understanding we are able to grasp the lessons that we are being handed. The rule is that we have sought all the lessons that will come towards us. We have sought these very unique events that will impact us at specific moments in time.

These Moon incursions where our Angels come close to us
, have long since disappeared from even a snickering of lip service. Nobody cares. Materialism rules and the science of ourselves as Spiritual Beings along with our higher family, the Angel community, has vanished from any sincere considerations.

Every 19 years our own little personal windows open up “…reflecting the synchrony between cosmic patterns and the rhythms active in the unconscious self. Thus the outer cosmos is synchronized with one’s own time organism, which was karmically composed during one’s pre-birth descent through the spirit and soul worlds. We can therefore expect such points to be strongly flavored by our karmic purposes.

“Moon nodes are points where the future breaks into the present; they can be quite dramatic….. A glance at the span between 18 and 19 shows that many young people experience a breakthrough – the meeting of an idea, or ideal, or special person – or experience a loss. The first complete node may well reveal the emergence of an altered sense of self that is a higher octave…” of the soul than previously experienced in our normal family settings.

Now for a typical experience of where we stand as we come through the Angel oracle of our 19th to 21st year, we stand at the threshold of becoming university students and pressured from all points including from within ourselves to make something of ourselves or fall into our own 24 hour stupid stupor of fun and frolic like we never had before.

One of the brief best challenges to this segment of life is the film, “Lions for Lambs“. Yes force yourself to really recognize the real stern challenges and choices that will now propel you into your untracked and untapped life and before you have even managed to recover from your 12th hangover in a month, you will find that life and destiny and your stupor will propel you toward the dawn of your character.

Disposing of our character and hiding in the herd are presented in “Lions for Lambs” by a significant teacher played by Robert Redford. Look at the experiences presented in this film very carefully because the sobering truths are part of our standard Rites of Passage during this portion of our biographies.

“There are two primary arguments that are being debated in the film. Argument A is presented by Senator Jasper Irving (played by Tom Cruise) who wants to initiate a new plan of long term sustainability in the Middle East with the highly visible American troops lingering around. The experienced television journalist Janine Roth (played by Meryl Streep) compares his plan to that of the Roman Empire, but he disagrees with her assessment.

“Argument B is presented by collegiate professor Dr. Stephen Malley who is trying to convince an underachieving student that the future of the country rests in the hands of the next generation. In his argument he presents the true fact that a large portion of the volunteers that join the ranks of the American military are recruits from the lower economic classes and the American ghettos. Within the same breath he points out the fact of complacency from the privileged youth, such as the underachieving student, who feels comfortable with his current status in life and doesn’t feel obliged to take a strong stand for his personal beliefs. In both arguments there are two players who are either arguing for his or her side or trying to disprove the argument of their opponent.”


Hierarchical Rank Domain

Angels – Individuals
Archangels – Folk
Archai – Time Periods
Exusiai and above – Forces and Kingdoms of Nature

The Nineteen-Year Cycle

“The 19-year cycle can also be extremely significant. The nineteenth, thirty-eighth, fifty-seventh, and seventy-sixth years bring to many individuals challenges of reorientation of their outlook on life and of their responses to basic factors in their personality. The Moon’s nodes’ cycle lasts 18.6 years and the Metonic cycle of New Moons’ recurrence at the same point of the zodiac lasts 19 years; thus, the close of the nineteenth, thirty-eighth, etc., years is crucial in terms of the soli-lunar factors — that is, of the basic direction of the flow of life energies.”

Ages 9-Fold Being Planet Characteristics Outer Manifestations
0-7 Physical body (Moon) Will Change of Teeth
7-14 Etheric body (Mercury) Intelligence Puberty
14-21 Astral body (Venus) Love Adulthood
21-28 Sentient Soul \
28-35 Intellectual Soul — (Sun) Selfhood (Ego)
35-42 Consciousness Soul /
42-49 Spirit Self (Mars) Speech
49-56 Life Spirit (Jupiter) Thought
56-63 Spirit Man (Saturn) Memory

Nobody expects anyone to easily digest the reality that there is a profound pattern underlying the biographical events of our lives. Certainly at 19 we have had hardly one impressive parent, guardian or friend who opened for us any kind of curious preparation for our unfolding life path.

The fact is, that we probably wouldn’t have listened anyways even if someone or some event had given us a clue. The fact that from every different direction in education no one ever sets the foundations of a vast ordered and deep universe around us that is not some arbitrary alien zone of god awful accidents and lunacy, is the ultimate testimony to the shallowness and cowardliness of the entire educational system.

At 19 rebellion is in order. And we have had no training in understanding and hearing just exactly what we are listening for or exactly what we have a full right to rebel against. But it certainly has to do with society robbing us of the Moral Sovereignty of our rights as Spiritual Beings, because education by and large basically forces that idea clean out of the curriculum.

We are listening inside the deeds, words, thoughts, emotions for that window that opens our souls up. We partially don’t even believe that any soul opens up and that there is no opening up of the intimacies of the soul because there is no soul.

We get a kick, and a high out of winning, or playing fast paced computer games, but this is not where the intersection of insight and intuition opens the soul up. Sometimes it is a friend or lover, where we feel a tug here or there, but the soul and our direct mainline to our intuition, where thinking, emotion and love tag us, is a capacity that has been allowed to stagnate and suffocate in materialism.

But the jumbled together nonsense of facts and materialism and our sexual drives, are only a small sliver of the whole disordered mess we call our society. Yet we are each of us a unique pivotal portion of the whole development of humanity at large and in particular, the living and loving center of our Angel’s deepest concern.

The time is out of joint—O cursèd spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!

We sit, walk, dance, eat, sleep and fart in a potently organized system that includes life after death, reincarnation and a whole new lesson plan that is woven into our very own bodies and biographies. We feel like a mere mass of raw jangling nerves and mood swings, zipping and buzzing flies like thoughts whip through us smelling the dead meat of what education has filled us with.
In the vast world there is a foundational brilliant and encompassing system
. We are the chaotic cores that have never been given the navigational maps, nor pointed to what the Freedom of our thinking and Moral Sovereignty means to the gods themselves.

Instead we are given sitcom and media generated immortal vampires, super heroes and historical jumbled lies, that serve the constant brainwashed masses, instead of legitimacy of our own Angels and our own precise biographical indicators. We are tasked to make order out of this mental and emotional turbulence and find our own center of gravity and our own Moral Sovereignty in this tangled chaotic mess of fumbling and failed human frailties. And we are further tasked to find the clues that restore our own spiritual compass.

Our intuition and our spiritual compass, which is part of the package of our TWELVE Cranial Nerves, our pineal gland and our hearts, will serve us to feel our way along precipices and strange paths that have never been trodden, because they are our own unique paths that only we may trod.

decisions, decisions, decisions

Gradually in the silence of the center of our intuition and our Moral Sovereignty we are faced always with the tangible character and texture of choices laced with nuances and laced with potent soul poisoning demons. We are faced with choices laced with potent awakenings to the hearts of others and mostly to the potent ability in ourselves to look into the abyss and complexity of issues to see our own profound souls reflected in the ever changing pool and swirl of both the sucking whirlpool and the illuminating calm clarity of our Angels Eyes.

Here is a footnote, an addition an addendum to our studies. Here is a supernatural tale that reveals a boys biographical encounter with an elemental being at the age of 18.6. Watch the clip and listen to it carefully(I apologize for the commercial that intrudes ahead of the clip). What we don’t do normally is listen to the tale distinctly enough to hear, when did the event occur. Yes, it happened at that 18.6 year range, but we would hardly ever remember or capture such a detail without help. At 18.6 Years of age a significant event, half in dream consciousness and half in the real world opens the eye of soul of the young 18.6 year old boy. He forgets his encounter at the threshold of both the Angelic and Elemental worlds. But one day he remembers. It is important to realize what our startling encounters with the higher worlds can mean both our biography as reality and tales that hint at wider truths.
Addendum 2
The murder of American 19 year old Furkan Dogan aboard the Mavi Marmara
Addendum 3
An Angel in the House

How sweet it were, if without feeble fright,
Or dying of the dreadful beauteous sight,
An angel came to us, and we could bear
To see him issue from the silent air
At evening in our room, and bend on ours
His divine eyes, and bring us from his bowers
News of dear friends, and children who have never
Been dead indeed,–as we shall know forever.
Alas! we think not what we daily see
About our hearths,–angels that are to be,
Or may be if they will, and we prepare
Their souls and ours to meet in happy air;–
A child, a friend, a wife whose soft heart sings
In unison with ours, breeding its future wings.

James Henry Leigh Hunt

ADDENDUM 4

Esoteric Riddles of Biography and the 21 year MARKER (SEE LINK)

Diagram 2

“We are then able to say, that the chief Being who comes into consideration for the present-day man, is the one who has given him the possibility of saying ‘ I ’ to himself, of gradually coming to the consciousness of the ‘ I ’, and we know that this possibility was first given by the Spirits of Form, those Beings whom we call Powers, Exusiai. If we listen to the activity of these particular Beings which they direct to man and ask ourselves what would happen to him if these Beings alone — and of these only those who are in normal evolution, — were chiefly to be active in him, we should find that these are the donors of the ‘ I ’-organization. If we consider them according to their own nature, we find that their chief interest lies in bringing to man his ‘ I ’. But now what these Beings have really to accomplish in man, only actually comes about in the life of present-day man at a certain age; it can only appear at a certain age.

“If you remember what has been said about the education of the child from the standpoint of spiritual science, you will admit that man, in the period between his physical birth and the changing of the teeth, that is up to his seventh year, principally develops his physical body. These Spirits of Form have no particular interest in the development of this physical body, for this is, on the whole, a repetition of what happened to man on the old Saturn, and which has already often been repeated, and which after the last physical birth and up to the seventh year, has for the present been repeated up to last time in a particular way. Then comes the time from the seventh to the fourteenth year, i.e., up to puberty. That too is a stage in which the Spirits of Form take no particular interest; for that is a repetition of the old Sun-period, and the Spirits of Form wished to set to work with their chief activity, that of bestowing the ‘ I ’, only during the condition of the Earth-life. We then come to the third age, which runs its course between the fifteenth and twenty-first or twenty-second year. During this time the astral body, which normally belongs to the Moon-evolution, evolves in man as a repetition. There too, those Spirits of Form who are evolving normally still have no interest in man. So that we must say: the three ages of man which precede the actual birth of his ‘ I ’, which only comes in about his twentieth year, have no direct interest for the Spirits of Form. They only intervene, out of their own nature, one might say, somewhere about the twentieth year of life: so that, if you come to think of it, you will no longer find it very strange, that so far as the actual intentions of the Spirits of Form are concerned, man need only come into existence in the condition in which he is to be found somewhere about his twentieth year. All that is developed in man before that time, is in reality to those Spirits of Form a kind of embryonic state, a sort of germinal condition, and if I may be allowed to speak somewhat metaphorically I might say, that these Spirits of Form who have developed themselves normally would far prefer everything to go on with a certain regularity, and that no one should till then have dabbled in their handiwork. If no one interfered with these Spirits of Form until the twentieth year, then, in the first seven years of his life man would have had the consciousness belonging to the physical body; that as a matter of fact is a very dim state of consciousness such as is possessed by the mineral world. In the second stage, in the time between his seventh and his fourteenth year, he would have a sleep consciousness. From his fourteenth to his twentieth year, he would be very active inwardly, but he would live in a sort of dream-consciousness. Only after this consciousness as a Moon-being, at about his one-and-twentieth year, would man really wake up. Then only would he arrive at the ‘ I ’-consciousness. If he followed a normal development he would only then come out of himself and survey the outer world in that representation of it which is the one familiar to us.

“So you see that in reality, if we only take into consideration the activity of the Spirits of Form, man attains his present-day consciousness much too soon, for you know that in the man of to-day, this consciousness awakes to a certain degree soon after physical birth. It would not awake in the form in which it sees the physical external world clearly and distinctly, if other Spirits who in reality are Spirits of Motion had not remained behind and renounced the development of certain capacities which they could have acquired up to the time of the Earth-evolution if they had not stood still, so that now, during the Earth-evolution, they might be able to intervene in a particular way in the development of man. Because they went through their evolution in a different way, they are in a position to bring to man earlier that which he would otherwise only have acquired in his twentieth year or thereabouts. These, therefore, are spiritual Beings who renounced the possibility of carrying on their evolution normally up to the Earth-evolution, spiritual Beings who might have been Spirits of Motion during the Earth evolution, but who remained at the stage of the Spirits of Form and are now active as Spirits of Form in the Earth-evolution. Thus they are able, during the Earth-evolution, to bestow upon man that which he is not as yet in the least ripe for, having still too much to retrieve from an earlier epoch. They can bestow that which in the normal form of evolution would have only been bestowed at about his twentieth year.

“Thus man comes into existence and receives capacities from the abnormal Spirits of Form, which he would otherwise only receive about his twentieth year. All this has very significant consequences. Just imagine for a moment that this had not occurred. If these Spirits with an abnormal development were not to interfere, then man would only come into consideration, as far as the physical world is concerned, in the condition which is his at about his twentieth year, that is to say, he would have to be born in this condition as a physical being and would have to go through quite different germinal conditions. In fact, through these abnormal Spirits of Form, the evolution of man is transposed into the physical world already from birth on, up to the twentieth year, i.e., by about the first third of our earth life. We must therefore say: The first third of our earth-life is not directed by the spiritual Beings who rule the conditions of the earth, but by other abnormal spiritual Beings; and because these take part in evolution, we therefore do not possess the form we should have if we were born in the condition we are in about our twentieth year. Man must pay for this by passing the first third of his life — the time up to his twentieth year — under the great influence of these abnormal Beings. During the whole period of growth man is in reality under the influence of these abnormal Beings; he has to pay for this when the middle third of his life has passed away, — which on the whole belongs only to the normal Spirits of Form, — in that a descending course, a going-back begins, and his etheric and astral organizations crumble away. So that life is divided into three parts or portions, an ascending third, a middle third and a descending third. Man really only becomes man during his earth life in the middle part, and in the last third he has to give back that which he received during the first, or ascending third; in other words he must repay the corresponding installment. If man had indeed been exclusively given up to the influences of the normal Spirits of Form, all that happens to-day up to his twentieth year would have quite a different appearance, quite a different form. Everything would have happened quite differently, so that all that is connected with the present development of man in the first of his three epochs of life is, on the whole, a premature existence, one that forestalls much that belongs to the later epochs of life. Through this man has become a more material being up to the second epoch of his life than he would otherwise have been. He would otherwise up to that period of his life have gone through purely spiritual conditions, and would have descended to the present material densification only at that period of his development which he goes through in the twentieth, or twenty-first year of his life, when he finds himself bound to the earth. Spiritual Science therefore tells us, that if his development had proceeded in that way, man would really have descended to the earth only in the condition which he now reaches in his twentieth or twenty-first year. He would not have been able to go through the preceding states upon the earth. He would have been obliged to go through them soaring above the earth, around it.

Diagram 2
Diagram 2
Click image for large view

“And now you can understand the whole course of human development through child and youth. You can see, if we take this straight line (B C) as being the earth-path, that the Spirits of Form would have intended man to come down only at this point (twenty, one-and-twenty). Man would have reached the earth only here (B), and he would have ascended again after his fortieth year (C) and would have gone through the last third of his life in a spiritualized state. Through the abnormal Beings man was compelled to descend here (A) and at once take up his life on the earth. That is the secret of our existence.”

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5 Comments

  1. mark haberstroh said,

    October 30, 2009 at 12:59 am

    Thank you for this wonderful piece so important for those young coming of age (and the rest of us, too). A young person could read, understand, and readily integrate these perspectives. This article awakens and opens. Good artwork too.

  2. December 19, 2009 at 4:09 am

    This is a beautiful insight Bradford thank you for writing it.

    In life sometimes we are touched as though by
    The wings of angels, we are brought into the
    Halls of masters who see in absolute clarity the
    Deep and often fragrant reaches of our potential,
    We in these hallowed moments glimpse that
    Greatness, that frighteningly real Imagination
    Of ourselves, In these threads of humble vision
    We come to see that vast ocean, that sunset
    Glimmer of our deep, unique contribution
    Of that which we can know, Shining in its
    Genius in all the great passages of our many
    Lives. Then we are born into the Spirit and it
    is born out of us.

    Igor Sturmheit.

    • rileybrad said,

      December 21, 2009 at 3:36 pm

      Igor, this was so beautifully written, and your art is so passionate and filled with the rich and dramatic highlights of the struggle for consciousness and some clear path through darkness into the light. Thank you so much, so much. True dark solstice spirit light.

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